The

Monty Hauler

Q: Who is "Monty Haul"?
A: Who really knows? I believe he was the host of the television game show, "Let's Make A Deal".

Q: What does he have to do with RPGs?
A: Again. Who really knows? Possibly the fact that great things were practically given away daily for nothing.

Q: Who can be a "Monty Haul"player?
A: Anyone can. Good and bad players alike (though usually more younger or bad players).

Q: Who is a "Monty Haul" gamer?
A: If you can identify with any one of these statements, "You may be a "Monty Haul" gamer":

• It is quicker to photocopy the magic item section of the DMG than it is to hand write your equipment list.
• You have long since stopped writing down non-magical items you possess because they are not important.
• You never carry coinage smaller than platnum (and then only because you can't find coinage of greater denominations).
• You have 4 or more items with a bonus of greater than +5.
• You are disappointed that your character is the only member of the party without an artifact or relic.
• You have no Stats less than 17 or more than one over 19.
• You have more than 100 hitpoints on your 3rd level Mage/Psionicist/Druid/Ninja/Ranger.
• You have several Tarrasque heads mounted over your fireplace.
• Without magical aid, you are immune to certain types of attacks (poison, fire, cold, acid, magical items, deity's personal attacks, etc.).
• Your character name ends in "Q" (for example, MagnusQ, AvangionQ, etc.).
• You can attack more than 2 times per round and routinely deal out more than 25 hit points per blow or have to ask if you can have a negative number for your THAC0.

Q: Can't DMs be "Monty Haul", too?
A: Yes they can. Some were originally "Monty Haul" players that finally wanted "real" power and some are DMs that have just lost control over their campaigns.

Q: Are you saying all high power/high level campaigns are "Monty Haul"?
A: Er.. um.. I would never say that. Though the line is very fine.

Q: I am getting the feeling that being a "Monty Haul" player or DM is bad. Is that right?
A: No, not at all. (I say laughing and wiping a tear from my eye.) But, seriously, "Monty Haul" can be fun too, though they are typically short lived and grow boring quickly.

The sad thting about "Monty Haulism" is that the offender is quite often in denial, refusing or unable to face the facts. A still sadder thing is that the other 80-90 percent of the gaming world is laughing at them behind their backs.